I am a front desk agent. I do all things...

... I am a front desk agent (at a hotel that I will leave anonymous)
... I have advanced degrees in accounting, public relations, marketing, business, computer science, and civil engineering. Of course, I have the reservation that you booked three years ago. Even though you don't have the confirmation number and you think that it was made under a name that starts with "X".
... It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, nonsmoking poolside suites with two king beds in each... four rollaways (not a problem... or a fire safety hazard), and yes I can install a wet bar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad.
... I am a front desk agent. I am expected to speak all languages. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yes, I can tell you why your bill from March 2002, contained a 75 cent phone charge because obviously you never pay for phone charges.
... I understand that (company I will leave nameless) is a vast empire and will make or break our hotel. Yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. This time I will not forget the helicopter landing pad.
... I am a front desk agent. I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering fifteen incoming calls, and plunging the toilet in 421... all at the same time
... I always know where to find the best vegetarian, kosher, mongolian, barbeque restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this city in fifteen minutes without spending a dime. I take personal responsibilty for the lack of airline food, traffic jams, rental car's flat tires, and the national economy. I realize that you meant to book your reseration here. Dont worry, people often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel of Antarctica. Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special ten dollar rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Bagel Clubs.
... I am expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, upsell, downsell, (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, and fix the printer.
...I am a front desk agent. I do all things...